Unplanned Stops

Earlier in this blog, I had stated that, "A woman in my situation can afford to have a few unplanned stops." When I originally wrote that, it struck an unstrummed chord within me.

None of us know exactly how our lives will unfold. Some of us may be planners who attempt to define each moment. Others of us may possess spirits that seem open to anything. In reality, the only One who knows our path is the One who loves us most.

That quoted statement above is more profound than I initially imagined. In looking back at my life, there is no way I would have hoped for or intended for the major stop I have faced over the past 3+ years. No way would I have told you or myself that my marriage would die and I would be without my soulmate from age 41 on. In fact, that is definitely an obstacle I would have adamantly opposed and voraciously fought if I had known what my future held. In fact, I did fight like a warrior to save the one relationship that seemed to define my identity and give me purpose. As many of you know, that didn't work and my divorce was final on March 31, 2009. I digress.

The unplanned stops in our lives can be devastating or slightly inconvenient. But, I have been halted by the idea that these stops are formative if we allow them to be. Granted, I still struggle with the idea of living with the stigma of divorce. At times, I feel I might as well pull the Hestor Prynne card and wear the red "D" on my chest. There are even mornings or nights that motivation to get up or get to bed seem to be more than I can muster.

Yet, I do now seem to have a better understanding of what it means for God to turn all things into good. No, I am not exceedingly happy all the time, but the moments of despair are less and less frequent and I do find myself laughing, singing and even dancing at unexpected moments. Surely that is the presence of the Holy Spirit moving in me.

I don't exactly know what this unplanned stop in my life will bear, but I am sure it will be something worth experiencing as long as I keep leaning of the Prince of Peace. God has affirmed that for me on this current adventure.

"My beloved spoke, and said to me:

Rise up, my love, my fair one,

And come away.

For lo, the winter is past,

The rain is over and gone.

The flowers appear on the earth;

The time of singing has come,

And the voice of the turtledove

Is heard in our land."

Song of Solomon 2: 10-12

The turtledove presence has great significance for me. As I began this battle to redirect, watch and then mourn the death of my marriage, God took me to a retreat house in Houston. While there, I was tasked with the process of focusing on only one of my senses and observing what God had to share with me through that sense. I chose to listen with my eyes closed. Do you know what God did for me? He sang me a love song through the cadence of the turtledove. He loves me. He adores me. He cherishes me. He pursues me. He craves relationship with me. JUST THE WAY I AM!

That is as true for you as it is for me, my friends.

May your unplanned stops bear fruit.

May God bless your heart with a complete belief in His undying love for you!